The crime-life simulator leaves little to the imagination with its continual violence, virtual sexual encounters and crime-oriented missions. “The most acclaimed and most reviled game series of all time,” one gaming columnist called it.

Grand Theft Auto iv is not supposed to be sold to children under age 17, but a survey last year by the National Institute on Media and the Family found that half the time, teens under age 17 had no trouble purchasing such video games. What’s more, at least one survey has found the Grand Theft Auto series to be the most popular game among boys ages 12 to 14.

The most popular? How do all those 12-, 13- and 14-year-old boys get a chance to play that game?

No doubt some parents approve and would quite willingly buy the game for their child. But for many, the reality is parents have no idea their children are actually playing such shocking, graphic games. If they know they’re playing the game, maybe they themselves have never actually looked at the content of the game—of what is being absorbed by their child’s mind.

Despite the multiple warnings on its packaging, critics are demanding more stringent marketing of Grand Theft Auto—demanding it be taken from the shelves of Toys R Us; calling on stores to check ids of customers.

Undoubtedly, such trash is a shocking indictment of the depths of depravity and violence our society has sunk to.

But what is the real reason so many children are playing these violent video games?

Because children are left to themselves by parents far too often. And that reality has many more detrimental consequences than children playing unsavory video games.

More than 3,000 years ago, a wise man wrote: “… a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.” According to Lange’s Commentary, “left to himself” literally means, “he who is exempted from discipline, who is left to his own will.”

But look at the beginning of the proverb: “The rod and reproof give wisdom …” (that word wisdom means to become a skillful learner).

In other words, a neglected child brings shame on the family because that neglect adversely affects his ability to learn—to grow in wisdom and understanding. If a child is left to himself—is unsupervised—it handicaps his ability to learn.

In that one proverb, Solomon actually described two opposite approaches to education. One is a disciplined, structured environment where children are corrected and punished in love. In the other, children are more or less left to themselves to decide right from wrong—an environment void of structure and discipline.

We see the results of a learning environment devoid of structure and discipline all around us in society today. A few years ago, Leonard Irvine wrote for the Salisbury Review (Summer 2003, emphasis mine throughout):

Various reasons have been put forward as to why crime is now so widespread. … What must be looked for is a change that made young boys and youths less able to resist bad behavior, less able to say no to the taking of drugs and less mindful of the consequences of their behavior for themselves and others. It is not violent crime that we must combat but the thing that makes a person a violent criminal. Although fighting crime “at the sharp end” must continue, this society is producing more criminally inclined boys and youths than its law enforcement structure can possibly deal with.The paradox is that in the time up to the 1950s, discipline at home and at school was harsh. Then there was little crime. Today, with the “child centered” style of education and the abolition of any form of smacking in school, children are more violent than they ever were.

Irvine pointed to the modern phenomenon of mental “disorders” among children in Western society, like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (adhd): “The link between antisocial behavior and a short attention span is acknowledged by all professional bodies concerned.” In other words, most troublemakers were brought up in an undisciplined environment.

So how ought we to go about improving the attention span of our children—to help bring more structure and discipline into their lives?

Most people opt for mind-altering drugs, like Ritalin. It helps regulate a child’s disruptive behavior at home and improves concentration at school. But, of course, the drug has many documented side effects: lethargy, depression, poor appetite, insomnia—not to mention long-term effects. In any case, the drug does not bring about permanent change. A change in behavior is noticeable only while the subject is medicated.

But there is another, much less popular, alternative to improving the attention span of youths: a return to the more disciplined form of teaching and educating children! There is simply no substitute for properly training and teaching children—from the point of infancy on up—to concentrate, pay attention and obey certain definite instructions. This, as Irvine explained in this article, increases the child’s storehouse of knowledge because as the child’s attention span improves, year by year, he is learning along the way—adding on top of his previously acquired knowledge.

The early years in a child’s development—from infancy to about age 6—are his most formative years. This is when the child’s personality, character and intelligence are, in many ways, set for life! Child development experts will tell you that about half an individual’s intelligence—his ability to learn and grasp new concepts—is developed in his first three or four years of life! (About 80 percent of that ability is developed by age 8.)

Parents—whether we accept it or not—are responsible most for preparing their children for education—to teach them how to learn. We are their most important educators in life. Not public or private schools, not higher education, not government programs or community organizations—and certainly not music, television programs or video games.

That children cannot pay attention in school is not the real problem here. The problem is with parents who will not pay attention to the needs of their children. It’s with deadbeat dads who will not step forward and lead the family with loving authority. It’s with mothers who are too busy competing in the workplace to care for their children at home.

Too often, children are left with day care, teen babysitters, television and movies, video games, sugary snacks, and lots of toys—anything parents can think of to keep them occupied, or to prevent tantrums. Then, when they enter the more structured environment of school at age 5 or 6, we can’t understand why they won’t pay attention.

Here is how the late Herbert W. Armstrong described every parent’s responsibility in raising children: “Always give your children an abundance of love. Show your affection. Then, from tiniest infancy, by loving but unquestionable insistence, bring your child to absolute recognition of your authority—and before he reaches the end of his first year! If spanking is necessary, use it—always being careful not to injure the child, yet making it smart enough to get results” (The Missing Dimension in Sex).

A super-abundance of love—and insisting on obedience. It’s not that complicated. But it is difficult to put into practice because it takes so much time and unselfish sacrifice. It takes parents who pay attention to their children—educating, teaching and training.

“Don’t be afraid of what the crackpot child psychologists fear,” Mr. Armstrong continued,

to make him feel “guilty.” When a child disobeys, he is guilty, and must be made to realize it!When we disobey God, He tells us plainly, in the Bible, that we are guilty! Yet God loved us enough to give Christ to die for us, that the sin may be forgiven, upon repentance.So let the child know he is guilty—but he can be forgiven upon repentance—which means to change from the spirit of rebellion to an attitude of willing obedience.

Society’s way is to let children do as they please. If they don’t want to listen, it’s just a passing phase—if they throw a tantrum, just let it run its course. Then, hopefully (with fingers crossed), they will turn out to be smart, well-disciplined, law-abiding citizens who raise happy families. That might be the way it works in movies. But not in real life.

It is the rod and reproof, as mentioned earlier, that give wisdom and understanding.

How is this even possible? How can administering discipline make a child more educated? Because in order to receive knowledge, a child must first learn how to listen and pay attention. And nothing establishes this as habit in a little one quite like discipline and correction.

If a child has never been taught to listen to those in authority, why should we expect him to receive knowledge from an authority figure?

Teach a child to honor and obey his parents first (Ephesians 6:1-2; Colossians 3:20)—then they can understand and learn.

Few commentators are willing to go this deep in proposing their “solutions” because it involves much more than changing a curriculum and the disciplinary measures at the local elementary school. In fact, it transfers most of the burden of responsibility to teach, train and discipline youths from the educational system to where it belongs—the parents!

This solution—God’s solution—means fathers must regain control of their families with loving leadership—as provider, protector and educator. It means mothers should assume their primary role as helpmeet to the husband, keeper of the home and the daytime caregiver to the children. And it means children must learn the lesson of obedience first, while growing up in a loving family environment at home.