Oh, how we need our moms! This is a truth most of us know intuitively, but which nevertheless has been borne out by several studies. Though some would downplay the importance of authoritative parental influence on children, their efforts are undermined by facts.

Consistently, studies have shown that the emotional development of the child—the capacity to love and to form attachments to other human beings—is greatest from conception to age 3. A secure attachment to a parent—which is severely inhibited by day care according to a 1999 National Institute of Child and Human Development study—is “related to the child’s development of self-confidence and social competence.” Stronger parental attachments lay a sturdy emotional foundation upon which that child can more adequately develop good social skills.

Sadly, more and more children are growing up without that influence. According to one study, between 1965 and the late 1980s, the amount of time children spent interacting with parents dropped 43 percent. A 1992 study conducted at Stanford University, comparing statistics from 1960 and 1986, found that parents were spending 10 to 12 hours less time with children each week.

A big part of the reason for these changes is the exodus of women out of the home and into the workforce. In 1950, 26 percent of married women between the ages of 25 and 44 were employed outside the home. By the early 2000s, that figure grew to about 72 percent; among women with babies under age 1, 58 percent now worked. Also, while men and single women work about the same number of hours as they did 50 years ago, among married women, weekly hours of work outside the home have tripled.

And consider: Among working mothers who believe they “have to” work, more than half admit they would continue working even if they didn’t need the money (Andrew Hacker, The Case Against Kids). That’s right: Half the working mothers in America freely admit they would rather be at work all day than at home with children.

Anyone who believes that mothers are unimportant in the lives of their children should consider the problems that have resulted from moms leaving home on such a mass scale.

Children left home alone are far likelier to abuse alcohol, tobacco or marijuana, and far more likely to engage in sexual activity. Lack of parental involvement even has a proven negative effect on a child’s studies. In a book by Harvard School of Public Health researcher Jody Heymann, an examination of more than 1,600 children revealed that “parental absence between 6 and 9 p.m. was particularly harmful. For every hour a parent worked during that interval, a child was 16 percent more likely to score in the bottom quarter of a standardized math test. … The results held true even after taking into account family income, parental education, marital status, the child’s gender and the total number of hours the parents worked” (The Widening Gap).

These studies prove that, on the whole, just as surely as plants need water and sunlight, children wither without motherly influence and flourish with it. This is a truth long ago expounded on in a source that too few recognize today as being authoritative: the Bible.

Let’s get God’s perspective on this all-important subject.

In Genesis 2:18, after creating the man, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” God didn’t want the man to be alone—it wasn’t good. He knew the man would need help. But why did the man need help? How did God intend for the woman to help man the most?

The Hebrew word for meet in verse 18 means opposite. In the same way men and women are altogether different physically, their roles within the family are profoundly different. Though they are absolutely equal in importance, God meant for both roles to perfectly complement each other, not to compete with one another. Each role enables the other to accomplish much more than either could alone.

How can a wife best support and assist her husband? The Apostle Paul answers that in Titus 2. He admonished the older women in the Church to teach the younger women “good things” (verse 3). In verse 4, he explains—teach the younger ones to love their husbands and to love their children! Verse 5 continues the thought: “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Love your husband, love your children and keep the home, or as it says in 1 Timothy 5:14, “guide the house.”

Feminists cringe at the thought. Instead of teaching young girls about it, they ridicule and mock the way God organized the family. They view any attempt to persuade working moms to return home as an attack on women’s rights. They would rather compete with men to prove they are every bit as capable of holding a successful career.

And while they have proven that, it has come at considerable cost. Our children have suffered immeasurably.

Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Generally speaking, of course, a child left to himself brings shame on both parents. But maybe God gets specific in this proverb for a reason.

After all, one of a man’s God-given responsibilities requires that he work—usually outside the home. Paul said that if a man won’t provide for his family, he is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8). And if a mother is to be the “keeper at home” while the husband is away at work, she obviously will spend more time with the children. It doesn’t mean the father is without responsibility at home. Not at all! But when he is at work during the day, mom is in charge. And because of the time spent with the children, she is more directly involved in their training and development—especially when they are young. Perhaps this is why God singles out the mother in the proverb.

If a father abdicates his responsibilities as loving head and provider, if he abandons his wife and family, forcing mom to go it alone and to step outside her role as a woman, it brings on him the greatest possible shame.

In like manner, when a mother chooses to abandon her children—leaving them alone—it brings great shame on her.

God never meant for us to be alone, whether father, mother or child. He organized the family so that no one would be left alone, so long as everyone willingly accepted their roles. In the case of mothers, the best way by far they can help their children is to stay at home with them, providing constant care and loving supervision.

The mother’s role is not about stifling yourself, your talents, your uniqueness. It’s about growing, working, developing yourself—and marshaling all those abilities in building the family, channeling all that energy into serving your husband and your family.

When this role is fulfilled, everyone benefits—husband, wife and children.

According to biblical commands, mothers should be highly honored for the tremendous role they play in our families. The Fifth Commandment includes God’s command to honor your mother (Exodus 20:12). In 1 Peter 3:7, the Apostle Peter tells husbands to give honor to the wife. This should also be happening within our families today.

Remember—and not only this Mother’s Day—to put Mom on a pedestal. Her God-given role is most praiseworthy and exalted, most beautiful. Most honorable.