“Lies, outrageous lies and statistics,” says a family-friendly version of Benjamin Disraeli’s famous quote. But when all the statistics point the same way, they can be very revealing. Over the past few months, newspapers have published a plethora of statistics about the plight of marriage and the family. None of them say it is getting any better.

Firstly, marriage is definitely in decline. In England and Wales, the number of people choosing to marry is at its lowest since 1895. The proportion of the unmarried population getting married is at its lowest since records began in 1862.

In Australia, the marriage rate has not been so low since over 400,000 young men left Australia to fight in the First World War. Fifty-one percent of women are single or cohabiting.

For those who do get married, it seems the bliss they desire eludes them. According to the Sunday Times, “59 percent of married women in Britain say they would leave their husbands tomorrow if they could be assured of economic stability. … Half of the husbands questioned defined their marriage as ‘loveless.’”

Even for newlyweds, marriage can be a misery. In Ireland, where divorce rates have increased fivefold in the last 20 years, every year 2,000 couples become “deeply unhappy” almost as soon as the wedding is over, according to the Irish Times.

With these kinds of numbers, it’s no surprise divorces are high. The UK has the highest divorce rate since records began. If current trends continue, one in ten marriages will fail before they are five years old. Nearly half will end in divorce.

No wonder many are being scared away from marriage and from relationships altogether. Two reports were published this week showing that more men and women are choosing to be single.

In the UK, the number of women living alone has doubled in the last 20 years and 8 percent of single women between the ages of 25 and 44 live by themselves, according to the Office of National Statistics (ons).

A book released in Australia shows that less men are marrying. In the U.S., the number of men in their early 40s who have never married has risen from 6 percent in the 1980s to 17 percent today. Apparently the biggest thing that keeps the men from marrying is a fear of tying the knot with the wrong person.

Women cite the same reason. “If you’re busy and fulfilled with lots of close friends,” said Paula Hall, a relationship psychotherapist with counseling group Relate, “then relationships may seem a bit irrelevant, emotionally high-risk and a lot of hard work.” In other words, if so many relationships end in failure, then why bother.

Single people are expected to become a major demographic in the next few years. Single-occupancy homes are expected to make up 70 percent of the growth of households in the UK by 2026.

Does this mean that marriage is finished? For the British government, it apparently doesn’t matter either way. The Department for Children, Schools and Families says:

This government supports marriage as it is a sound foundation for raising children. But we want to support all children and families, whether or not their parents are married. The family unit is changing, but this doesn’t mean it is breaking down.

Much of the general public in Britain seems to agree. “According to recent official data, two thirds of the population now feel that there is little difference socially between living together and being married,” said Claire Tyler, chief executive of Relate. “We are also finding that those who marry today tend to be older and wealthier. It seems that society is separating along socio-economic lines and the common experience of marriage no longer exists in the way it used to.”

Twenty-six percent of people surveyed in the UK agreed that “marriage is an outdated institution.” Thirty-six percent agreed with the statement in France, and 10 percent in the United States.

One in ten American couples cohabit, one in five in the UK, and one in three in Sweden. Thirty-seven percent of children in the U.S. are born out of wedlock.

Statistics, though, also show that marriage is beneficial, even economically. Family breakdown costs the British taxpayer ₤20 billion a year, according to the Western Daily Press. The Press also noted (April 3):

Even when comparing couples of similar age, income, education and ethnic background, unmarried parents were still more than twice as likely to split up during this period.In fact, the single biggest influence on whether a couple stayed together or split up was not income or education—although these matter. It was whether couples were married or not. Something about being married matters a great deal. The latest research evidence suggests the difference lies in the attitudes and behaviors that are more often found among married couples.

On the other side of the Atlantic, a recent study concluded that divorce costs America $112 billion a year. According to this report, over the past five years, the U.S. government has spent more on the consequences of divorce than on the Iraq war.

Family, as it is often pointed out, is the basis of a nation. Although the Western world may still look good on the outside, the rot is definitely there underneath.

Two thirds of brides expect to stay with their husband forever. Yet more than ever, marriages are a mess.

Why is marriage so messed up? Is marriage even the best option for happiness? Why do humans marry in the first place? There is something fundamentally missing in the marriages in this world. From the UK to Australia to the U.S., marriages are failing. Yet there is a key to marital happiness. To find this all-important key, request our free publications Why Marriage! Soon Obsolete? and The Missing Dimension in Sex.